10 ways to lose an argument

For the record, if you have to do any of these things during an argument, then you’ve already lost:

  • Attacking the other person’s physical appearance, sexual prowess, social status, etc.
  • Correcting the other person’s spelling or grammar (unless it’s so bad that you literally cannot understand what they’re saying, but this is almost never the case)
  • Countering an argument in favor of social progress with “That’s the way it is. Deal with it.”
  • Asking the other person to provide sources for something that it’s impossible to provide sources for (like an opinion)
  • Stating that the other person has no right to attack your point of view because it is your opinion
  • Using cute emoticons as a substitute for an argument
  • Refusing to justify your position on the grounds that it is obvious (this is a favorite tactic among SJWs)
  • Backing up your argument with articles on obscure news sources that no one but you has ever heard of (this is a favorite among Trump supporters) – if you can’t find it in a reputed news source, then it’s not news.
  • Pulling stuff out of your ass (I’m looking at you, Jack Posobiec.)
  • Pointing out your own credentials, unless those credentials are actually relevant to the subject of the argument, rather than just a way to prove that you’re smarter than the other person because you have a degree
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Donald Trump wins

Man, it’s been a long time since I’ve posted.  I’ve kind of abandoned the Internet for a while, well, not really abandoned it; more like I’ve just become a lurker.  I’m going to try to post more regularly now.  Let’s go over what’s going on…

Okay, there’s the election of Donald Trump, obviously.  Everyone’s been talking about it for the past few days.  I’m sitting in a bagel shop right now and there’s a bunch of old guys sitting at the table next to me talking about him; not sure if they support him or not.  Yeah, we just chose a self-entitled spoiled brat with no political experience and a very poor grasp of reality to be the most powerful man in the world.  Happy thoughts.

I’m going to be honest.  I’m actually happy that Trump got elected, and I’m looking forward to his presidency, because we’re going to see a very entertaining poetic justice unfold.  There’s going to be a poetic justice on two fronts.  First of all, we have the pleasure of watching Trump actually try to follow through with what he says he’s going to do.  We get to watch him actually try to build the border wall, and actually try to get Mexico to pay for it.  We get to see him actually try to tell China that we’re not going to pay off our debt to them.  We get to see him actually try to kick out all the Muslims and Mexicans.  We get to see him actually try to put Hillary Clinton in jail, and sue all the women who accused him of sexual assault.  It’s going to be very entertaining, maybe even hilarious, to see all these grandiose plans fail spectacularly.

Tronald Dump, as I like to call him, is about to get a nice dose of reality.  He’s gone through his entire life never having to suffer any consequences for anything he does.  He’s been taught that he can have a business fail on its ass and still come out on top without having to work hard at all.  He’s been taught that he can sexually assault women and evade taxes, as well as systematically destroy thousands of official documents to obstruct civil cases (which is a federal crime by the way; yes, #thedonald is actually a felon), and get away with it.  He was born rich and has lived a life of bliss and privilege; he hasn’t earned shit.  He has built his career by exploiting others and manipulating the system.

Well, Karma always has a way of finding you, and it always gets you eventually.  Pretty soon Trump is going to get a dose of Karma that he will never recover from.  He’s going to have the most difficult job in the world, and he’s going to fail dramatically, and everyone is going to hate him.  There will be massive demonstrations in Washington D.C., maybe even riots.  People won’t leave him alone.  He will try to sue anyone who says anything negative about him, only to find that, OMG, you’re not above criticism, especially now that you’re a political figure.  #thedonald is going to have his first ever taste of defeat, at the ripe age of 50-something.

The second poetic justice is what is going to happen to all the redneck Trump supporters who are acting all smug over his victory right now.  You know, the ones who are all like “Grab the popcorn and watch these liberals cry.  Hahah!”  Thing is, most of these people are uneducated hillbillies who are probably working as bus drivers, construction workers, waiters, or some other low-paying job.  They’re not rich big business owners, you know, the one group of people that Trump actually cares about.  The people who are laughing now are the same people that Tronald Dump is going to screw over in the next four years.

So yeah, rednecks, in a couple years, when you’re getting paid ten cents an hour to work in a sweatshop in life-threatening conditions for 70 hours a week, let’s see if you’re laughing then.  Let’s see if you’re laughing when you’re living in your pickup truck because you had to sell your trailer to feed your twelve kids.  Let’s see if you’re laughing when you lose your health insurance, and have to shell out tens of thousands of dollars in medical bills when you get in your next hunting accident.  Yeah, let’s see who’s laughing then.

As a wise man once said, he who laughs last, laughs best.